"It works"

My brother likes crying. As 5-year-olds sometimes do. My parents can't stand it.

The other day my mom asked my brother why he cried when he was having a play-date over. His reply, "I wanted my friend to stop, but she wouldn't stop! If I cry then you come over and make her stop! It works!"

It's true. It worked. And it still works. Every. Single. Time.

Basic human psychology here I guess, toddler kid cries--> parents are alerted that there is *something* that's causing their wonderly-adorable-innocent child discomfort. Parents dislike the thought that their child is experiencing mild displeasure. Parents MUST intervene.

Which is all great and wonderful for the most part, parental love and all that, but when the child is especially brilliant (as my brother is <insert ego here>) they start abusing this basic protection right.

Fact is, my brother knows perfectly well that if he cries, he'll get attention. So he cries. And he gets attention. This basic form of "lying" is actually pretty smart if you think about it. Whereas some children and nice a quiet and doesn't ask for things, my brother will go out of his way to manipulate the minds of our parents in order to get what he wants.

Case 1: Brother tells mother his stomach hurts and asks to come home from daycare. Mother says no. He then proceeds to tell her that not only does his stomach hurt, his fingers, feet and head hurt as well!

Case 2: Brother not good at soccer in his soccer camp. The best soccer player gets a lot of attention (which brother obviously wants). Brother starts yelling crude comments and doing weird dances during games causing his friends to laugh and the teacher to talk to him.

Case 3: Brother doesn't want to eat dinner. He complains of stomach aches. Parents remain firm on the fact that he needs to eat. Brother then needs to go to the washroom. 5 times. Repeatedly. Oh, and he was tired and wants to sleep as well.

Now ego aside, I'm sure most kids do this. Because they want the attention. So it becomes the parent's job to not spoil their child too much, or else their future becomes:

Still, you got to give the kids some respect for going through the struggles of attempting to psychologically manipulate their parents. It's almost... sinister.

Children

I just had a conversation with my brother and his friend. It went something like this:

Brother: Sis it's not listening to me
Me: -rushes over- What's not listening to you?
Brother: My head isn't listenin-
Friend: -giggling- NO NO! OUR SOCKS!
Brother: -also giggling- Ya, our socks aren't listening to us.
Friend: Ya my sock won't listen
Me: Ok... so what do you want me to do about this?
-Mild silence-
Brother: I want to punch my sock
Friend: -punching his right foot- Ya I want to punch my sock too
Me: Ok then you guys go punch your socks.
-They punch their feet as I leave laughing wildly-

Sometimes I wonder what goes on in their heads. I don't recall being extremely strange when I was their age (Five-years-old), and I do remember being that age. The strangest thing I ever did was play pretend with my parents (I was the teacher and they were my students)... which isn't really that strange.

My dear brother also thought it would be pretty funny to tell me that his bum was on fire the other day. He waltzed into my room and shouted -between laughing hysterically- about how there was fire on his bum. Apparently it was the greatest joke of the century, but sadly I did not understand the humour.

There seems to be something incredibly funny about using "bad words" and insults as well. In their case "stupid poopy head" is a terribly brilliant insult. I understand this, after all if anyone dares call me a stupid poopy head, I wouldn't be very happy (despite my initial laughter of course).

For some reason I don't recall being so giddy about these "bad words" and odd jokes... is it a gender/sex thing?