That sounded really suicidal and emo, rest assured I never planned on doing that as it was merely a thought. Of course why did I have such a thought? Well I'm sure we all do at some point in life, especially when life is just boring or full of work. I have work to do, but I don't want to do it. If I read a book I'm being unproductive. If I study for MCAT... no that counts as work. So I thought; wouldn't it be great if I could just die right now?
No I do not want to die. Please don't assume that this is a secret plead for someone to come murder me. I enjoy living quite nicely. I'm just lacking a bit of motivation.
So I went on a motivation hunt! But I didn't know where to look. So I begun by trying to figure out what motivates me. Here's my list:
- Wait.... these are all rewards for working
- Maybe the knowledge that I'm bettering humanity?
- People smiling at me
- Being told I did a good job
- Being awesome
- Beating all the competition
Rubbing it in their faces
- ... Cross that last
So in general it seems like in order for me to do my work, I need some sort of reward for it. Honestly that was a terrible list. Let me make a new one:
Ok. So in terms of rewards I tend to want one of 2 things; emotional comfort or physical comfort. Beating the competition and getting people smile at me are all emotional comforts. Candies and chocolates are physical comfort.
But then the real problem is that I can easily get access to most physical comforts without doing the work (unless the work is going up to get a candy). It's only the emotional comforts that require any work. However at this particular moment in time I am rather emotionally void. I don't really want any emotional comforts since my emotions are just fine. All I want are the physical comforts which I can access so easily.
Am I going to disfavour myself and refrain from candy until I study for my MCAT? I really feel like it... In fact I'm feeling somewhat hungry now... I'm sure there's some chocolate somewhere in this house...