July 4th: I await you

I am not American. I do not celebrate w/e they call their national day. July 1st is much more important to me. However, this year July 4th is pretty important too.

July 4th is when I find out if I got accepted into my program at UOT. Last year the average entrance GPA for this program was 3.86. This program is intense. And I want in.

It's especially nerve-wrecking for me to go on facebook and see some friends who already have their major/specialist etc listed under their education. In my head I'm just waiting for the day I can add my own specialist on my profile... It'd be an achievement I think. But then this got me thinking why I even care so much. I mean I know I'm going to get into this program; why am I making the update of my profile page such a big deal?

And this is true of lots of other things that get publicized via the interwebs. Ever see a friend's relationship status change and get a jolt of some feeling (either sympathy, jealousy, surprise etc)? I think today it's impossible not to live vicariously through your friends, after all every status update they make gets presented to everyone they know. People are so easy to stalk.

Of course there are the ones who really enjoy being at the top of the Top News. In fact I'm sure most of us would like to know that friends are looking at a status or photo or profile change. It makes us feel important I suppose? But then there goes all attempts to be modest about life, to keep yourself hidden, to not have to make your life seem interesting.

Honestly who cares about your life when everyone already has their own life to live? But that's exactly the problem because people somehow do care! We're constantly stalking each other trying to find the newest bits of gossip and news. We care about what other people think of us because we're constantly thinking about other people.

Now I would say, "starting from now on I won't care about any of you." But I can't do that without losing a few friends (or a lot of friends). At the end of the day we still cherish that feeling of being watched, of feeling like our life is good enough to be of importance to others. So perhaps we only think about other people so that other people will in turn think about us.

Now I wish I could make my own opinion on the topic and actually have a valid point, but that's not really me. But the fact that I still update this blog probably says a lot more about my inner stance on the topic than anything else.

But come July 4th, my profile page will be updated. But I might just hide it from the news feed.